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"Expatriates in
Turkey take up the pen to fight prejudice"
"Reminiscent of Lady Mary Wortley Montague's TURKISH EMBASSY LETTERS."
--Sirin Tekeli
"Daring and delightful."
"Funny, moving and
unusual."
--Patricia Linderman
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READERS' COMMENTS 2007
See what experts are saying... Let others know they might enjoy this book! Write your own review of this book for: this page, Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.ca, Amazon.fr, Amazon.de Click here for 2005 , 2006 , or 2008 Readers' Comments... 2007 29 December 2007 "This book was difficult to put down. I had planned a trip to Turkey after doing extensive research about the country and when I found this book that shares experiences of women from all over the world who have travelled to Turkey, I was delighted. It was an informative and exciting book to read. 27 women contributed to the book with their experiences about moving to, or living in Turkey. I went to Turkey as a single woman so this book was like a Bible to me almost. The experiences I read put me right in Turkey and the more I read the more I wanted to go. The more I read the more I wanted to be apart of the culture. This book helped to make my journey an enjoyable one and I will recommend this book to anyone who will travel to this wonderful country." --Reader review (bstar8798) on ReviewParty.com
19 December 2007 "Fabulous, fabulous book of short stories. It's getting me well and truly into holiday mode!" --A review by Minibean on Thorn Tree Refuge
"This book can be used as inspiration, for pleasure reading, or as a manual on how to cope with a variety of intercultural situations on your trip to Turkey. Having spent nearly two years abroad here, I have taken in the stories in a variety of ways. I read them now like memories of my own, from my past, and as experiences to come. The book creates a feeling of camaraderie, as if the expat women are all sitting in a room together, chatting around the marble center stone of the hamam, confessing our trials and challenges, our resilience, our coping mechanisms and our pride in living in Turkey. Whether you visit Turkey as a tourist, or for good, this book will take you deeper into the culture and will inspire you to take similar adventures of your own. A powerful injection of humor, wit, joy and sorrow, all of these stories will make you feel like you have just experienced a whirlwind tour of Turkey through the eyes of strong, powerful women abroad, a book to enhance anyone's imagination of Turkey." --An Amazon.com review
15 November 2007 "Dear Anastasia, Jennifer and all the other contributors to the book,
I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed all the maginificent tales of life, love and laughter in Turkey. Like many of the writers, I stumbled across Turkey as the result of falling in love with a Turkish man. Having an obessively inquisitive nature, I have been reading all I can get my hands on about various aspects of the country (which I last visited in 1987 on holiday with my parents). Your book turned up unexpectedly in a general serach I did on a South African online bookstore, and I was impressed to see that managed to purchase a signed copy! I read the book straight through in one sitting as I just couldn't get enough of the images, the atmosphere and the people described with such passion by all the contributors. It was one of those books where, the closer I came to the end, the slower I tried to read, dreading turning to the last page!
We will see where my relationship with the man who inspired it all, and perhaps one day I will end up in Istanbul with him. Then again, my new-found fascination with the country mind mean that, regardless of what happens between me and him, I might decide to follow in the footsteps of some of the inspiring women in your book, and simply head over there and see what happens!
Thanks again for enriching my life here on the other side of the world. I hope to bump into you somewhere in Istanbul one day.
Kind regards from the southern tip of Africa. " --A university professor from South Africa
25 October 2007 "Must read if interested in living or visiting Turkey. I love the insights that the women provided about Turkey. I have never read a book that gave detailed firsthand experiences. I am Mexican and I am married to a Cypriot Turk which brings a multitude of cultural differences in to play... Thanks to all the contributors of this book." --An Amazon.com review from a reader in Austin, Texas
24 October 2007
"Dear Anastasia and Jennifer,
8 & 9 October 2007
"I loved that book. I gave a copy to some of my friends and my mother too. I wanted to help them understand why I love Turkey so much. After they all read it, they understood a little more." --Elisabeth on TurkishClass.com forum
26 September 2007 "We don't seem to be too knowledgeable about countries in the Middle East area and this book will explode any and all stereotypes holding you back from learning from the Turkish experience of several diverse western women who either live there or have spent much time there. Each story is written by a different woman, usually about a different angle or aspect of the culture, and it is rich with warmth and human kindness and real people. It has certainly inspired me not to be afraid to travel to the region and I will the first chance I get! Captivating writing, delightful, mind-opening stories. Don't miss this book. I passed it along to my daughter. Halfway through, she called and said she was heading to the local Istanbul Cafe (here in the southwest) for lunch and was dying to travel to Turkey! It's contagious, the enthusiasm and love of the writers for the country and its people. Don't miss it!" --N. Shea's review on Amazon.com
21 September 2007 "This is a timely anthology on being female expats in a Muslim country - and how the Turkish landscape, psyche, people, and customs have transformed their lives. The outcome is a stunning collection of voices from women suspended between two homes as they redefine their identities and reshape their worldviews." --Meref, in the Boeken over/uit Turkije thread of Buitenlandse Partner forum
18 September 2007 "I really enjoyed this book and hopefully await a sequel. Any woman who has lived or loved in Turkey ( I have done both) will totally relate to these stories , and any woman who hasn't will still find them very engaging!A collection of personal short stories giving wonderful insights into life in turkey as a foreign woman (probabaly nothing like you imagine), just right for relaxing bedtime or beach reading!" --Deb Cam, from her reivew on Amazon.co.Uk
30 August 2007 "Loved this book - it was so like being back in Turkey. The people are described in ways that really make you feel as if you were there. . . . . I left Turkey in 1996, but this felt like a visit back there again. Next best thing to taking a trip to this delightful country!" --Reader review from Overstock.com
27 August 2007
9 August 2007 "started reading your book yesterday it's so perfect...really tells me what I'm interested in and of course, the woman's POV is ideal. I want to ditch the group and re-route the trip but I can't so at least I can sneak away and do my own thing here and there. thanks, ms. princess - looking forward to your recommends." --TV Producer, New York City
1 August 2007 "Dear Anastasia, I just wanted to tell you that the day I read about the details of your book on ExPat Focus, I ordered it that VERY day from Amazon.uk. The book arrived this week, and I started reading it last night. I read your section first (very interesting story!), and also the ones about the cherry pie and the missionary who changed her opinion. I want you to know how impressed I am with your book, and how well-written it is. All my (expat) friends here in Morocco are starting to hear about this book, and are excited to read it, too! Thanks so much for getting it written! I'm glad there is a picture of you both in the back cover, as well." --Mary M. in Marrakesh
20 July 2007 "By the way, I bought your book! very interesting!"-- Frenchman in New York
19 July 2007
From a forum discussion
on TurkishClass.com:
"Yes that is a good book
too. It is an anthology of stories from various women. For those who
prefer to read in Turkish it is published by Doğan Yayıncılık in
Turkey with the name [Türkçe Sevmek]."
--MarioninTurkey
17 July 2007 "Your book is fantastic-- I was reading it during my entire trip [from Istanbul] back to Dublin. Actually, an American woman sitting next to me on the plane got interested, since she's been living in Istanbul with her family for the last year, so I sent her to your website... I think my mother is reading the book now, so [my] poor [sister] will get the copy slightly worn... ;)" --American woman in Chicago
"I *love* the book! Such great stuff--I'm kind of a personal essay junkie anyway, and Expat Harem is so full of wonderful ones. Let me know if you're ever in the Davis/Sacramento area." --Amy Radbill
July 2007 "Recommended! This is a collection of short stories on various experiences of Turkish life by foreign women who have settled in Turkey. Chapter 4 has different stories on Turkish weddings! The authors also have a website dedicated to this book, and this site has a travel section too." --Arzu & Martin's private destination wedding website
26 June 2007 "Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to mail me a signed bookplate for my Tales from the Expat Harem, it was such a nice personal touch and I will treasure the book and inscription. I am so enjoying this book, the short stories are so eloquently written and flow so beautifully together. It doesn't even feel like a book of short stories, all the writers are so descriptive and sensitive to both the Westerner's perspective and to that of the Turks. This book has been a great introduction for my upcoming trip to Turkey, providing me with a personal insight into the people, places, flavors and history of the country. I’ve been reading the book out loud to my husband on car trips or when sitting by the water. We were both so moved by the love story between the American college student and the Turkish student who were not able to stay together because of their cultural difference, so sad but so touching." – Susan Kopecki, elementary art teacher, Wethersfield CT traveling to Turkey in 2007 on fellowship funded by The World Affairs Council, The Turkish Cultural Foundation and the Programs of International Education Resources
25 June 2007 "The first time I walked through my local Barnes & Noble bookstore, I must admit I got a little carried away. I couldn’t help myself…there were cheap English books everywhere! Cookbooks, Turkish language books, religious books, magazines, fiction, I felt like I was in heaven!
I happened to wander by the travel writers section and the first title I saw was Tales from the Expat Harem. 'Hmmm,' I thought, 'Harem=Sultan … Sultan=Turkey, right? What’s this book about?' I picked up the book, and the whole title of the book is Tales from the Expat Harem: Foreign Women in Modern Turkey. I was sooo excited! 29 foreign women, living in Turkey over the past forty years, soldiers, archeologists, entrepreneurs, teachers, telling short stories of their experiences! I barely made it home before I cracked the book.
The first day at my parent’s house, I sat outside in the hammock, listening to the birds, drinking coffee and reading. Most of the time I was laughing so hard. Sometimes I would call my mom outside so I could read the passage to her. Combined with the Disney Channel, it was a great way to spend my week back in Mora.
In the
introduction to the book, the authors write 'Foreign
women on Turkish soil are neither what nor who they used
to be, yet they are not fully transformed by their brush
with Turkey…Aligned in their ever-shifting contexts,
both Turkey and the expatriate share a bond of constant
metamorphosis.' When I read this, I knew I was going to
love this book. It’s a great book for my fellow
expats in Turkey…I haven’t finished the book yet, I’m
trying to gauge myself because it’s so fun to read. I
highly recommend this book!"
--Laura
Olson, from her blog
No Place Like Home: An Ashland, Oregon book group engaged Expat Harem contributor Catherine Salter Bayar in their discussion of the book in a conference call which included about 20 of their members. According to Karen Lundgren, who met Catherine in Selcuk, "There were many myths dispelled, even among these well-educated, well-traveled group members. There's now a movement afoot [for our members] to make a trip to Turkey. Of course, I'd be there again in a heartbeat." Expat Harem was given high praise for its portrayal of a country most Americans know little about, from a group that now wants to get to know more.
18 June 2007 "I thoroughly enjoyed your book and was wondering if you will be receiving any more submissions in the future. I have recently compiled several stories from our annual summer trip to Turkey..." --An American married to a Turk, Southern California
17 June 2007
"...There are two books you
might enjoy reading before your trip. One is from the Travellers' Tales
series (Travellers'
Tales Turkey). The other is called Tales from the
Expat Harem, which focuses exclusively on foreign women's
experiences travelling in and living in Turkey. Sometimes it's moving,
sometimes it's hysterically funny and it's always interesting."
--Kate W.,
Fodor's Forums 6 June 2007
"Just wanted to say thanks
so much for the book and signing it for my Mom. She absolutely LOVED the
present and told me she just started reading it. Who knows...maybe this
will finally convince her to come out and visit me!! Thanks again."
--Joe McCanta,
bartender and mixologist of
Saf Organic Bistro's
Organic Wine & Martini Bar.
Joe is the creator of
the Expat Harem Martini! 31 May 2007 "I have read your book and it was very nice. Especially from the lady who bought a hotel in Istanbul, with the painting that she has taken from the wall... I hope you will write more books that we can read." --Müjde ERKENEZ
15 May 2007 "Really nice book to read - great for foreigners living in Turkey, visitors to Turkey or anyone who is simply interested in cross-cultural experiences! I can't wait for a version comprised of stories written by foreign men in Turkey :-) " --A. Burton's review on Amazon.com
26 April 2007 Our favorite book at the moment is Tales from the Expat Harem edited by Anastasia M. Ashman and Jennifer Eaton Gökmen... The book contains 29 short stories of the experiences of women who have settled in Turkey over a period spanning the last twenty years. It provides a wonderful insight into Turkish language and culture. Some of the stories will make you laugh out loud. Our favorite for this is Hello, I Love You by Amanda Coffin, with Forever After for Now by Tanala OsaYande a close second. The most poignant tale is Haze by Katherine Belliel, but it is the kind of book where everyone has their favorite story. You can choose to discipline yourself or devour the whole thing in one session it is down you you, but we are sure that you will find it fantastically entertaining... Simply Delish." --From the Simply Delish website
10 April 2007
"Our Ladies Club in Munich a
trip to Istanbul from May 06 to May 10 so we have been asked to read
your book Tales from the Expat Harem, what I am doing now with
great pleasure."
--
5 April 2007 "For a woman's perspective, 'Tales from the Expat Harem' is pretty good. It's a collection of non-fiction stories about women's experiences in Turkey, and definitely worth a read!" --minibean on Lonely Planet's ThornTree bulletin board
30 March 2007 "I have your book, which is really interesting as it is a whole world that is so different to one's own, and yet humanely we have so many points in common." --Diana Cox, Buenos Aires, Argentina
29 March 2007 "This book inspired everyone on my book group to head to Istanbul. Great accounts from women living and traveling through the country as foreigners. " --Lori Ann, on www.GoodReads.com
23 March 2007
"Turkey was great, we both
want to go back again - we stayed a couple of days in a friend's little
hotel in Assos and followed Aristotle's footsteps up and down the hill.
Not too much reading though...then we bought Tales from the Expat
Harem: Foreign Women in Modern Turkey by Anastasia Ashman and
Jennifer Eaton Gokmen to read on the journey home again. I thoroughly
enjoyed this very varied set of autobiographical tales and learnt a lot
more about Turkey!"
--comment on LibraryThing.com 19 March 2007
"This charming collection of
essays shows how much the struggle to fit in and questions of identity
apply as much to Western women adapting to Turkey as they do to Third
World migrants coming to the West."
--Michele Wucker,
2007 Guggenheim Fellow and author of
LOCKOUT: Why
America Keeps Getting Immigration Wrong When Our Prosperity Depends on
Getting It Right, and
Why the Cocks
Fight: Dominicans, Haitians, and the Struggle for Hispaniola
16 March 2007 "I've been lending your book to friends and buying it for family members. Lots of rave reviews! I sure liked it." --Dale Posner, San Francisco
12 March 2007 "Hello ladies, I read your book and loved it! I too have shared many experiences that were in your book. I visited Turkey September 2006 and came back home November 2006. My husband is Turkish and currently living in Turkey. I am moving to Turkey in July of this year and I am extremely excited and scared at the same time... I think I will have a good experience living in Turkey..." --An American woman soon to expatriate to Turkey
26 February 2007
"Hi Anastasia, 24 February 2007 "Dear Jennifer and Anastasia, Thank you for your book, Tales from the Expat Harem. I found it while browsing the travel section at Barnes and Noble in our hometown of Minneapolis. I didn’t know quite what to expect but I am preparing myself, my wife and several friends for a September trip to Turkey, and I have become omnivorous when it comes to anything about Turkey. Before each trip I do research on the place and then prepare a “Prep book”... So, I devoured your stories with great interest. The book was different from any preconceptions that I had. It was funnier and it was more soulful. I assume it was intended for women, but I’m a 69-year-old grandfather, and I could appreciate virtually every vignette. For what it is worth, here are my impressions. 1. I liked your piece, Jennifer, on Orienting Express. As the story unfolded I saw you coming to grips with your relationship with your mother (always an important thing to do) as well as finally feeling at home in this Turkish culture. It also provides an early glimpse into the kindness of the Turks. Very accessible. Thanks for including a map and pronunciation guide. 2. Anastasia, your piece about getting married “princess style” was full of surprises. I certainly did not expect to read about a liberated young American woman finding a new liberation in Turkey. And yet that is what it was. (As my wife is reading she remarks, “This is the best written chapter.” She chuckles out loud as she reads the part about the makeup session.) I suppose that touches a thread that runs throughout the book. This is a book about Turkey, a country that perhaps uniquely offers a treasure trove of surprises and ironies. One could create a matrix with a horizontal axis representing a spectrum ranging from the far left (familiar, liberal, western European/American mores) and on the far right the unfamiliar mores of a country dominated by values of an alien religion and a culture infused with traditions of the East, the Orient. A vertical axis could be drawn to represent time with the lower end representing our current 21st century and all that this is represents, and the upper end of that vertical axis to be something from a time long ago (such as Hellenistic or Hittite) and the middle representing the Ottoman Empire. What I find so intriguing is that almost every vignette represents multiple unique spots on this imaginary matrix as we find familiar vs. strange and new vs. old in a bewildering variety. Especially interesting is the juxtaposition of these kaleidoscopic impressions going from 21st century/familiar into scene that is ancient/alien in a manner of minutes. My wife and I are vacationing in Hawaii at the moment, and as soon as I finished the book, I passed it on to her with my recommendations for best vignettes. She is reading it as I write. She asked me what were my favorites. Here they are: 1. Haze by Katherine Belliel. Oh, this is heart wrenching. As the father of a 30-something daughter who has had her heart broken, I could experience this vicariously. The compassion of her would-be sister-in-law, the steam of the baths. It pulls the reader right in. 2. The Goddess Metamorphosis, by Karen-Claire Voss. Once again this bath ritual was very evocative. I was captivated by it. 3. FeminIstanbul by Dana Gonzalez. I was stunned by this story. Stunned at the lengths to which the female Turkish pharmacist went to communicate in gestures with the American woman, and also very surprised at the culture of helpfulness that was portrayed by the by-standers as well as the teenage boy. I cannot fathom this scene in America. This is what I mean by these kaleidoscopic impressions. 4. Dancing my Way Home by Diane Caldwell. This is a perfect example of the unexpected that is portrayed in your book. Who would have thought that a modern American woman would find any sort of liberation in Turkey. I must confess the story strained my credulity a little, but I put that aside and took it all at face value. Assuming she had each of these experiences as she relates, this is quite an amazing story of how a supposedly repressive culture has its own openness and acceptance and therefore can offer liberation, in this case, in the form of dancing. I loved it. 5. Rescued by Village Intelligence by Claire Uhr. Again I related as a father, thinking of my 30-something daughter. She graduated from Yale with a major in Classics, and she has marched to her own drummer. She has lived alone for much of the last 15 years, and she has had some health issues. This could have been her. I found this story completely believable. This young woman thought she was going to die - alone and unmissed. But she was missed by some Turkish neighbors whom she didn’t even know. This was the most moving story. I was very, very touched by the kindness of her Turkish neighbors. They overcame the innate human tendency to “mind your own business” and took a risk because of their concern. Beautiful. 6. Hijacked by Kathleen Hamilton Gundogdu. This is a well crafted story. The suspense builds, and then the surprise climax. Again it illustrates the Turkish capacity for thoughtfulness and kindness. I wonder what would have happened if the roles were switched, a young Turkish woman on a bus in Minnesota arriving in early morning in a place where the hotel was not open...well, it is all too difficult to imagine. Great story. 7. Failed Missionary by Rhonda Vander Sluis. I just simply loved it. So did my wife. This was her favorite. She grew up as a minister’s daughter in a fundamentalistic Christian church, and she resonated to all the themes. Our poor planet seems to be plagued by religious fundamentalists of all stripes - Christians, Jews and Muslims. I liked the shrewd perspective of the Turkish mother. It was a sweet story, once again filled with irony. Your book is a treasure...Thanks again for your book." --David (and Mary Beth) Koehler, writing from the base of Mauna Kea, Hawaii
22 February 2007 "I've got this book and really loved it but some of it was quite scary!! Was particularly nervous about some of the hamam experiences! Very good for entertainment anyway and I found myself laughing out loud a few times." --Electra, from TurkishClass.com
16 February 2007 "I found your book while living in Adana in a small bookshop there, and loved it. I am from Germany, married to a Turk, and love the country, culture and especially the people there." --Katrin Arat
"I'd like to add that Expat Harem is enthralling for a male audience as well. I bought this book for my wife's birthday recently, and she has a difficult time prying it out of my hands! For those interested in learning about Turkish culture, it gets my highest recommendation!" --Magister, TurkishClass.com
7 February 2007
"Hello Ladies, I'm a NYC
Corrections Officer (23yrs) soon to be Sergeant, US Army Vet. I want to
travel, after a life of marriage and children. I want to go to Turkey
sometime this year. I may have to travel alone so I was hoping for some
safe advice. I loved and admired the women in your book. Good work
Ladies..." --Julia,
from New York City 2 February 2007 "I personally liked Tales from the Expat Harem... I really felt that I could relate to most of the stories in one way or another, and thought it offered some interesting insights into Turkish culture. " --minibean, from Lonely Planet's Thorn Tree forum
28 January 2007 "this is the book I'm currently reading and I really like it. Last night I just read one of it which is about romance. I can't help but drop a few tears..." --Parisisbeautiful, from TurkishClass.com
23 January 2007 "Greetings, I have been living in Turkey for 18 years and recently read your book and loved it! I am working on putting together an orientation program for foreigners who come to Turkey and was wondering if I could [use] one or two of your chapters in the program. The insights that the ladies [have] would save newcomers a lot of grief if they could learn them early on. I love living in Turkey and my husband and I are building a hotel in the Bolu area that will be used for consulting foreigners who live in Turkey. " --Ruth Foreman
"Dear Jennifer, [My colleague] lent me Tales from the Expat Harem, and I just want to tell you how much I enjoyed reading them. The things I learned are priceless, getting to know you more intimately... I like the writing style. I am also so personally touched by the unconditional love of Turkish families...wow... I was bawling my head off reading it on the bus from Safranbolu this weekend...thanks so much..." --An American teacher in Istanbul
12 January 2007 "Where can I get your book? I read the article in the link [Guardian Abroad]. It's in 3 parts and they only have part 2 at the moment with part 3 to follow and now i'm hooked and want your book!" --A Reader on the ExpatinTurkey.com forum
"This book was humorous and heart-warming, full of stories (most of which I could relate to) about a land that I love. " --Lisa, on www.GoodReads.com
4 January 2007 "Sevgili Jennifer Eaton Gökmen ve Anastasia Ashman, Öncelikle mutlu yıllar diyorum ve kitabınız dolayısıyla tebrik ediyorum. Çok beğendim, fikir,tasarım, sonuç hepsi güzel olmuş." --Assistant Professor Serpil Murtezaoğlu, Istanbul Technical University State Conservatory for Turkish Music and Dance
3 January 2007 "I have read Tales from the Expat Harem with great interest and pleasure... Should your travels bring you to our part of the country in 2007, please let us know in advance, so we may explore the possibility of arranging an evening of lecture/book promotion which, I am sure, would be of great interest to not only our members but to the general public. Congratulations and best wishes for continued success in the new year." --Füsun Ören, President of the Canadian and Turkish Women's Association of Ottawa, Canada (CATWAO)
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