Stepping onto a larger stage: how to actualize your worldview

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expat+HAREM loves to consider how our mindset changes our place in the world. Today we’re talking with wise living coach Tara Sophia Mohr about how we can actualize our larger worldview.

TAPPING INTO OUR BIGGEST SENSE OF SELF e+H: Tara Sophia, thanks for joining us today. With globalization and the rise of the social web, the globe is shrinking and our world of operation is expanding. Now far flung, non-mainstream people are no longer invisible or cut off from the action. However, having world-class ideas may not translate into big actions. What kind of training might we need to step out onto that larger stage?

TSM: I think we can be hard on ourselves for not playing big – we know we’re stuck in self-doubt or fear and aren’t really “going for it.” But we shouldn’t be tough on ourselves.

The truth is, for most of us, playing big doesn’t happen naturally.

We need tools and support:

  1. Help to clarify what playing big means to each of us, to distill: what’s my calling? What are the ideas I want to come forward with?
  2. We need tools to deal wisely and effectively with fear and the inner critic.
  3. We need practical skills – in things like negotiation, pitching/self-promoting, and communicating effectively – the skills that actually allow us to play bigger in the world.
  4. We need stories and models from other women who are playing big.
  5. Lastly, we need support – a likeminded community that champions us in playing big. My experience in my own life and with my coaching clients is that it’s that recipe – having some of each of these five things – that allows us to really play big.

MAKING LIMBO A PRODUCTIVE STATE e+H: You talk about “making fear our travel companion”. The limbo state is familiar to hybrid lifestylers here at expat+HAREM. We’re neither here nor there, and it’s not going to get clearer any time soon. How do you suggest we embrace our new vision for ourselves and our world without succumbing to the uncertainty?

TSM: Personally, I think of fear like this: you know when you are driving your car on the highway, and there’s some guy driving right alongside you in the next lane over? Maybe he’s leaning out his window, or veering close to your car, doing something distracting. It’s annoying, you are aware of it, it’s unpleasant, but…he’s not really in your way.

If you can keep your focus on your destination, and remain conscious of the fear but not distracted by it, you’ll get where you want to go.

Fear can be like this: present, uncomfortable – but not actually stopping us.

Living in that relationship to fear depends on

  1. expecting fear — knowing that if you really go for it in living your authentic life, leading, sharing your voice, fear will  arise
  2. learning how to distinguish helpful fears (those that protect us from real danger) from over-reactive ones, and
  3. getting used to feeling the fear and going forward anyway.

SEEING THE POSSIBILITIES ARE GREATER THAN WE THOUGHT e+H: Tara Sophia, thanks for spending some time with expat+HAREM! We’ll share leads to your work and your new pro development program below.  Now a question for our readers — how are you stepping out onto a larger stage? What are your obstacles, and how are you overcoming them?

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[expired offer] Deadline to sign up: April 11 >>> Learn more about Tara’s women’s leadership and professional development program “Playing Big” which aims to activate your voice, help you own your power, and amplify your impact (we’re proud to be affiliates, can you tell?). It promises to be part ultra-contemporary bootcamp training for the tactical skills of communication and negotiation, and part innerwork to help you take positive action around your vision of yourself on a larger stage. You’ll be learning from world-class dynamos like Happiness Project bestselling author Gretchen Rubin and Kiva.org’s founder Jessica Jackley.

Complimentary: get her 10 Rules for Brilliant Women ebook and workbook.

Chat with Tara Sophia on Twitter (use the hashtag #PlayingBig)

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  • http://about.me/anastasia.ashman Anastasia

    Tara let me know she’s doing a free call to answer your questions about this concept to help women play bigger, the core ingredients of Playing Big, and the nuts and bolts of the program. It’s tomorrow (March 31, 2011, 12-1pm PST).

    To register for the call click here. Even if you can’t make it, if you register she’ll send you a recording by email.

    P.S. Deadline to register for Tara’s six-month program itself is Monday, April 11! Good luck to you all…

    P.P.S. In this blog post about “SPEAKING UP”, Tara encapsulates a feeling I bet a lot of us here at expat+HAREM have felt:

    “When I’ve decided that my view is so far from what is mainstream I can’t even share it, it only ends up isolating me, and reinforcing the idea that I have to somehow hide myself in the world. It robs me from that incredible experience of being seen and welcomed.”

  • http://lingonlife.blogspot.com LingonLife

    Now this is a “self-help” program that I can get behind! Too bad that I missed out on the #PlayingBig Chat. Gonna have to download the ebook now and get started Playing Big :-) Monica

    • http://about.me/anastasia.ashman Anastasia

      The #playingbig tweetchat was great, Monica. You can still see it through search on Twitter.

      Some highlights for me, from Tara Sophia:

      On the skills we need:

      “There’s an inner game to playing big, but there is also an outer game – practical skills for playing bigger. Learning the actual “skills for world-changing” that help us play bigger.”

      On fostering community, the people we need around us:

      “We need people who “see the future that hasn’t arrived yet,” who see vision of us playing big before we do.”

      And some concrete examples from human rights advocate and author Marianne Elliott (@ZenPeacekeeper):

      “Playing big is realising you have world-class ideas. Playing big is publishing the book, launching the business, starting the nonprofit organization. Playing big is realizing you have a story to tell & the world needs to hear.”

      Also, these 7 must-have tools compiled by @ScoutieGirlblog.

  • http://about.me/anastasia.ashman Anastasia

    Yes Rose! Our success is so dependent on that inner compass.

    Getting to know yourself is one thing, but trusting what you find out when it’s often not validated externally can be the most difficult part.

    Owning your power, in Tara Sophia’s parlance, is moving through the world with a firm sense of yourself and what you bring. And learning to heighten the impact — by raising a clear voice and making yourself visible, and pursuing the opportunities that interest you — is a component of your trust in that inner compass.

    …making externally obvious what is internally obvious.

    Also, the communications (including the “we’re all publishers now” zeitgeist) /negotiation bootcamp Tara Sophia mentions reminds me that when people receive intensive action training it’s not just about acquiring the skills, it’s preparing them to be able to function when certain surroundings would otherwise shut a person down. Another way to let that inner compass guide.

    I hope to catch the #PlayingBig Tweetchat tonight as well!

  • http://www.rosedeniz.com Rose Deniz

    Having tools is so important – I’ve made lots of resolutions over time, but I’m most successful at ‘focusing on my destination’ when I trust my inner compass and have guidance. Looking forward to your #PlayingBig chat today, Tara!

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