My foreign body: geocharacteristics of a population

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in culture,history,identity,self-image,society

Grumpy and Freezy by SKoehler

By SEZIN KOEHLER

When I first arrived in Prague I was a size 7, had an acceptable C-cup and chocolate-colored skin. Three years later I’ve become a size 12 and an overbearing DD-cup with skin the color of weak tea.

Aging plays only a small part.

My tropical sensibilities have been assaulted by the sub-zero temperatures I live in 80% of the year. Even the summers in Prague come with a chill equivalent to winters in my former homes of Spain, India, Thailand and California.

Watching my previously lithe figure fill out caused discomfort and anxiety. Then I had to change my style of dress and how I saw myself.

Plus, it’s not only my physique that’s changed. I used to have a big smile.

As if they take a cue from inhospitable weather, the Czech people are notoriously unfriendly. Part of this has to do with their experience under Communism and a general distrust of foreigners. Their general reserve is also cultural. It’s almost unheard of that a Czech person will invite anyone but family into their home. They meet friends at local pubs and bars. In warmer places like India and California, it’s customary to invite a virtual stranger over for dinner or drinks.

Smiles are evoked from natives of tropical places more easily than in the frigid Czech Republic. I can recall each smile I’ve received from a Czech stranger while in temperate lands I remember the rude people, so few and far between.

I’ve eradicated my broadly smiling public self lest I look like a tourist. It took me two years to develop a Central European frown. I have new lines on my chubbier face to prove it.

Do warm places make warmer people? How has your body changed in adapting to a foreign climate?

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Sezin Koehler is a half-American half-Sri Lankan global nomad whose first novel, American Monsters, was released this year.
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Tagged as: body morphing, California, Czech Republic, entertaining, expat+HAREM series, friendliness, hospitality, India, inhospitable, personality, Prague, Sezin Koehler, smiling, Spain, Thailand, tropical personality, tropics, unfriendliness, weather, weight gain

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  • Marty_rajandran

    Interesting. After living in South Asia for over 20 years, to be posted in Geneve, was a rare treat…and indeed, did I enjoy the croissants, cheese, pastas….and then in East Europe the pork, potatoes in hundreds of ways all dripping in gravy, dumplings….sausages! food heaven!!!  The excuse, well its colder here….we need a little more fat to coupe with the winters. And I didn’t really look at myself for a long time, until in photos with my girls I saw how roly poly I had become. And recently putting together a photo album, my decent size and shape of India days was unrecognizable after 8 years in Europe….and sadly, the changes were there, year by year and I just didn’t look. Now back in a hot and very humid Colombo, trying to loose and keep off this weight has been an on/off struggle. But the biggest challenge is to continually look, really look at oneself!

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      Absolutely. To not only really see oneself in the mirror but also to look at the habits and patterns that cause our emotional shapes to change as well as our bodies.

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  • kari m.

    Hi Sezin. This topic has always interested me so thanks for bringing it up here. As an addicted jogger I`ve always carried jogging shoes with me and used them in all the places I`ve lived. When living abroad it wasn`t always easy to maintain a relaxed feeling about the run if some were to hassle me, which occured, but I always seemed to find a way. Fortunately the benefits from running are many and they helped to keep me in shape (and sane) during those years.

    As for climate I respond very positively to *light* and seem to feel more alive, open and generally more happy during summer and when living in sunny places. Returning to the long dark winters of Norway was very hard at first. Colder climate like we have in Scandinavia probably affects us in many ways and on many levels, also socially, and the social codes here demand different approaches than further south… When you`re familiar with these codes ‘readapting’ as was my case, has worked out fine (with a lot of mental work :-) ) — but for some expats this obviously may be quite a challenge.

  • Catherine Bayar

    I’ve been lucky – the climate in California was not all that different than the climate in the Turkish Aegean. Both places allow for lots of outdoor time, with only the rainy winters to keep me indoors. However, living in San Francisco’s fog belt along the Pacific caused both depression and weight gain, as have snowy winters in NYC and rainy ones in the Napa Valley. For me, body changes have been as much about my happiness with work and personal life – if those aren’t good, I gain. A climate that allows me to get outside and walk, run or ride a bike is my cure for feeling unfit. Now in Istanbul, I’ll see if a cold snowy winter messes with my form as much as it did in those other cold cities – undoubtedly it will. More reason to get outside now and enjoy the sunny days we have left here…

  • http://www.skaiangates.com Yazarc

    What an interesting topic! Since I moved to Turkey my body has changed a lot, but most of that can be attributed to two kids. But one thing I have noticed is that I am completely unfit. I walk a bit, but not enough and while my parents were (are) playing tennis and golf weekly at my age, here the culture of having a sporting hobby is completely undeveloped. Partly that’s because up to a generation or so ago most Turks would have worked physically but mainly it’s due to the fact that most families don’t have much disposable income to spend on them. If they do have the income, it’s more likely to be spent on children’s hobbys/classes etc. It’s something I really have to work on as I can tell age will become a larger factor in the next few years! My sister is very active, mountain biking, hiking, running but she complains about her size too. I must suggest it’s just because she lives in Vancouver and needs the bulk for warmth!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve gone through the exact opposite transformation since moving from Belgium to Barcelona. In Belgium I spent much more time inside, or wearing heavy knits, scarfing moules et frites. In Barcelona, once the temp climbs up over 70 (which is about 70% of the year) Spanish girls implement a plan called “Quitalo ya!”/take it off now! It’s almost an imperative to show more skin. My body responds to this imperative by wanting to run, roller blade and bike up th Costa Brava. And who’s not smiling while biking up the Costa Brava??

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      Lucky you! Thank you for commenting and keep on smiling! :-)

    • http://www.expatharem.com/identity-messages/ Anastasia

      Ah, Ieishah! Sounds like what living in Venice Beach did for me…the nightly bikes all the way to Malibu and back on those perfect beach bike paths. That’s a quality of life I miss in Istanbul. Walking along the Bosphorus is possible, yes, but no huge bike trip without tons of life-risking.

      It’s funny (or not) to think about how where we live effects the way we live, and how that then affects the bodies we have. We’re not just the way we were always fated to be, just us, no matter what.

      • Catherine Bayar

        Funny, I too was just telling someone how much I missed those long bike rides along the LA coast. I love to walk, but Los Angeles is not a very pleasant place to do so. Biking along the beach was a weekend ritual for years, but there is no way I’d try to do the same here along Istanbul’s Sea of Marmara. Walking has to suffice. For me, the hills of Istanbul do not quite replicate the great workouts I’d get walking when I lived in San Francisco, but in either city, my body (and mind, to quiet it) craves long strolls.

        • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

          Ah yes. Long, pleasurable strolls. I miss those too. These days walking is such a huge and daily part of life that I rarely take pleasure in it anymore and have found myself longing to live somewhere that is not so spread out or where I’d need to drive just to give my feet a break.

          It is indeed funny how these transformations of body and mind take place when we live outside our previous experiences. The results are usually unexpected and I suppose the trick is to find the beauty even in discomfort. :-)

          Thank you, Ladies, for such an active discussion. ;-)

      • Anonymous

        “We’re not just the way we were always fated to be…”
        Yes!!! And it’s this ability to create and recreate ourselves and our circumstances that living as an expat highlights. And says to much about how we learn what we learn, how we become who we are, and what transformation takes. Great post, Sezin! And Anastasia, I love what you’re doing with this blog!

  • http://inesedesign.com/Home.html Inese

    I’m even further north, in Latvia and after 5 years of living here the non-smiling, distrust of the natives caused me to embrace the local expat community. This summer I experienced the joys of meeting crazy Australian/Latvian expats who still know how to laugh and smile. I am very picky about the local friends I keep, because its hard enough to get through the long dark autumn as is, who needs a scowl and whining?

    The living conditions in a lot of local apartments are often dismal compared to a nice local pub or bar. It was so difficult to get an apartment during Communism, that once a family finds a room or two they cling to it for generations. The thought of moving to find a better location rarely exists, so Grandma and everyone else is squeezed into a few square meters. There are still a lot of cold water flats, and some apartments heated with wood stoves in down town Riga so a pub is a way to get away from all that and have some privacy out of earshot of all those relatives. I have been invited to the apartments of local friends, many who would be considered well known artists musicians, good careers etc. and I have been appalled at their living conditions. They of course look at me like I’m crazy when I say you could move to a better place.

    I just spent a fortune fixing my car because the brakes keep rusting because I never drive it. Everything is walking distance if you consider a 20-30 minute walk normal. Foods are fresh, so everything goes bad in 2 days resulting in a 3-4 times a week one hour walk to stop at all the little shops and markets to get groceries. My refrigerator is always empty, I buy it, I eat it, I go buy more. All the exercise and fresh, non chemical, non radiated food helped me go down a size, and get in shape without a health club. Did I mention I live in a 6th floor walk up? I use it like a stairmaster, I don’t try to do everything in one trip.

    Staying in a good mood this far north is a full time job, and don’t expect any help on the street. I actually broke down the locals living in my previous apartment building because I kept smiling and saying hello every time I passed someone in the stairwell. After a few months some actually started saying hello back, and when I moved out a year later they all stopped me in the stairwell, asked why I was moving, said they were sorry and that they would miss me. I’ve met some of them randomly on the street years later and they still smile and say hi to me, I WON!!!

    Keep smiling, better to look like a tourist than a grumpy old local… wear them down until they smile back:)

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      What a fabulous comment! It’s fascinating to hear how similar the experiences are between here and Latvia. It’s also funny that you mention the stairs and having to shop every day. It’s the same for me here, we live on a 4th floor walk-up and a tiny fridge which does not hold very much at all. I think all the walking has made my lower body extremely muscular, a new sensation for someone who never works out save for dancing, and that also altered the lines of my figure that I was used to. Lucky you for dropping a size! I keep thinking about working out more but I wonder if my body needs to be heavier to cope with the cold…

      Here it’s customary to say, “Dobry den/vecer” (Good day/evening) when passing someone in the building, just as it is customary to greet staff when entering a shop or restaurant, but the smile is totally optional and rarely returned here. I’m glad you were able to warm up your neighbors! Well done, Inese.

      I think I prefer looking like a grumpy local by now. I save my smiles for people who deserve them. :-)

  • http://twitter.com/joannemstein JoAnne Stein

    Very cool post! There are so many things to take into account when living abroad. I too had to stop smiling while living in Russia unless I wanted to draw negative attention. I also got really pale due to the lack of sunshine. Some friends even encouraged going to the tanning salon for vitamin D! What contributed to weight gain for you? For me, I always thought because Europeans walked a lot I’d stay healthy just from that. But the cold weather definitely makes you sluggish and dark days can be depressing and not make you want to exercise. I definitely didn’t exercise as much in Russia. There are sports centers there but I don’t think fitness is as popular as in the US.

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      Hi JoAnne!

      I am pretty sure the weight gain was due to my metabolism slowing to combat the cold. I’ve read medical studies that talk about how the cold affects the body by making one’s blood thicker. This also can contribute to weight gain. I totally agree that in theory the amount I walk is a lot, a few kilometers a day and up and down lots of stairs at home and at work, so you’d think it wouldn’t have been so dramatic, but since a great deal of the new weight is literally in my bra, my body is definitely storing up fat for winter and it’s got nowhere else to go. :-)

      People are really into excersise here, as well as solariums, but the idea of sitting in a coffin-like thing being bombarded with UV rays sounds wrong to me. With my luck I’d have some sort of allergic reaction to the unnaturalness of it.

      Thank you for your insights, JoAnne! Are you living in a warmer place these day?

  • Sapna

    absolutely! warmer temps = happier people! Come back here Sezin!!!!

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      Thank you for commenting, Sapna! I would love to return to California one day, though not sure if I’d like to live there again. I’m thinking New Mexico or Arizona… :-)

  • http://www.expatharem.com/identity-messages/ Anastasia

    Thanks Sezin! It’s odd that when we were looking for links for this piece Googling “weather” and “character” brought up a lot of dog breeding sites, rather than tons of evidential pages about how weather effects culture (both personal and the wider one). And yet, being out of your weather element clearly wreaks havoc on the body and psyche. Clearly there needs to be more research…My body morphed on one expat stint, and the weather definitely had something to do with it (but it was tropical! — and I’ll never imagine a dream holiday in the tropics again). As for the house-party come-one-come-all climate, I grew up in that too. The approach worked in New York. It continues not to be the best mix here in Turkey, and in Malaysia it just confused people to find themselves lumped together with random strangers of different ethnicities (and worst of all, fans of different soccer clubs).

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      Thank you, Anastasia! I’m so glad that we are contributing to new literature on culture and weather. That was easily one of the most bizarre fruitless Google searches I have ever done on an issue that seems intuitive, judging by the comments already. I love that piece you linked to in your comment, and it’s funny because when I first read it that was around the time I had started really doing lots of self-portraits and I thought it was a wonderful moment of synchronicity between our lives.

      I miss house parties, but yes they sometimes end up more uncomfortable than welcoming especially in the context of new places. I’m amazed to think of how different things are and how much they change every single day.

      Thank you for getting me. :-)

  • http://sheroffthebeatenpath.blogspot.com Sher

    Sezin, I can so relate to how you feel dealing with the Czechs and their unfriendliness! Our American nature is to be friendly, smile and be pleasant to those we don’t know. But here, as you said, Czechs have a completely different approach due to their history. They are only now beginning to recover from the communist regime, and are still overcoming the 300 hundreds of subjugation under the Hapsburg empire. We can’t blame them for their frosty distrust of foreigners, but it would sure be great if they would lighten up a bit more and be a bit more friendly!

    And the body changes from living in a new place–they’ve happened to me, too. I went from a size 8 to a 12, and am not happy at this size at all. Like you, I’m learning to deal with the changes, and trying to figure out how to lose the weight gained. That’s not easy when there are not many diet options for lighter eating–such as low-fat or no fat cooking sprays, and other low-fat food options.

    I’m also getting those frown marks! But it could be from age, rather than from living here!

    Learning to live in a new place is all about integrating and adapting. I guess we’re in the next stage of learning these lessons. What’s the next step? :) For me, losing this weight and learning to speak Czech!

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      Thanks, Sher! I am so glad I am not the only one whose body has been affected by this weather. I also need to set a goal for myself to start excersing more, but then again, I wonder if my body needs this extra padding to survive here. Just today I almost fainted three times from the cold and I need to start stepping up my protein intake so as to be safe around town.

      I do agree that the history here has made people very wary of foreigners, and that’s something they have to learn to get over…however it’s still depressing to see all these grumpy faces every day. Even when it’s warm! Sometimes especially when it is warm. It’s like they have no idea *how* to actually be happy on some level.

      Speaking Czech! Good for you! Me, I’m just biding my time until I am out of here and trying to revive my Spanish skills. :-)

  • Anonymous

    Wow, Sezin. Really powerful post. I can relate to that feeling of not recognizing myself, and I agree that it’s not just about aging. In fact, I think I like my visage more as I get older – I can see my mother who passed away when I was young in my face where I couldn’t before. While I feel like my limbs are all over the place (at my gym, I’m always bumping someone), it feels like Turkish women move more smoothly through life. I haven’t slowed down my walk, but I do try not to gallop like before! Turkish people are very warm, but on the street or bus, there’s a code of silence and non-interaction, and a sense of caution when you first meet someone in public. I am less likely to flash my smile in public.

    • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

      Thank you so much, Rose. I’m also glad I’m not the only one who occasionally has trouble recognising herself, and I love how you are looking more like your mom as you get older. That is beautiful. She really is with you on so many levels.

      I suppose that learning how to keep our smile and emotions private is also a product of growing up, although it does make me sad. Plus it takes so many more muscles to frown than it does to smile, the effort seems such a waste of good emotions.

      Thank you for sharing, Rose.

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