With/out borders: the shape of your world

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in borderlands,community,friendship,history,identity,psychic limbo,self-image

Zuzu Kahlo by S.Koehler

By SEZIN KOEHLER

Border disputes never made sense to me. Living all over the world, first due to my mother’s job and then by choice as an adult, gave me a free floating perception of the world.

I’ve watched how arbitrary lines — drawn on maps by retreating colonial powers — lead to war, civil strife, and genocide. They’re theoretical yet defended violently. As a child I lived in India and Pakistan, both nations still fighting today over the ownership of Kashmir. The 32-year-old civil war in Sri Lanka for a separatist Tamil state came to a bloody end only last year.

Perhaps a lack of physical boundaries contributes to porous personal boundaries.

I speak my mind without hesitation, fling myself into new friendships with the enthusiasm of a child. Openness has allowed me to connect deeply but I’ve also shed many a tear assuming the best when the person was far from it.

Now I’m confined by the borders of the Czech Republic, a place that doesn’t agree with me, and I have no option to move in the near future. Is it a coincidence I’m learning how to set personal boundaries? Not so quick with new friendships. Learning to wear a smile even if I don’t feel it. Saving my commentary for people I trust.

I’ve also begun adapting my natal chart readings to include Astrocartography, location-based astrology to understand how mapped spaces reflect the planets and their rotations. Meanwhile, Frida Kahlo and Lady Gaga inspire me to explore the various facets of my visual identity as I map my own physical borders through the hybrid/MONSTER sideshow.

How have physical borders, or the lack of them, shaped your personal ones?
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Sezin Koehler is a half-American half-Sri Lankan global nomad/horror novelist whose first novel, American Monsters, was released this year.
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Tagged as: astrocartography, boundaries, boundary, civil war, colonial power, Czech Republic, expat+HAREM series, Frida Kahlo, friendship, genocide, hybrid/MONSTER, India, Kashmir, Lady Gaga, locational astrology, mapping, maps, Pakistan, physical boundary, portrait, Prague, psychic boundary, separatist, Sezin Koehler, Sri Lanka, Tamil, Tamil Tigers

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  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Thanks for those links, Zeynep, and for your own post there. Borders are iron clad for most of humanity – that we can move relatively easily through them is something that should never be taken for granted.

    As for police/immigration limiting their efforts to the US southern border, Elmira Bayrasli’s current blog post mentions that an armed Border Patrol is now checking passengers on trains between Chicago and New York…WITHOUT anyone crossing a border. As she says: “Be afraid.”

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Sezin, a beautiful post – thank you. Count me as another human being who thinks borders should be meaningless. Like you, as a child I looked for those lines of demarcation as we took our roadtrips cross the US, each time there was a sign we were entering a new state. I didn’t get it either – there was no line like on the map, nothing changed about the landscape; just sometimes a change in the road pavement itself. My parents took us to Four Corners, the place in the southwest where 4 states meet at perfect right angles. Finally I’d see borders! Though there was a marker, and I could place arms and legs so I was in four places at the same time, the dividing lines only extended a short distance into the desert. Four Corners taught me that arbitrary lines have no meaning when what’s on either side is the same.

    Later in life, I too was really lucky to travel extensively, crossing lots of borders, something I know the average person here in Turkey would have a difficult time doing. Reading the history of deciding borders in places like Iraq is more evidence to me that boundaries often have nothing to do with the people they enclose, but are about politics and power. For some reason, I thought of outer space as I read your words, probably because you mentioned your work in astrography. ;-D I came across a site that was full of quotes about borders, many from astronauts from many nations who said this in various and eloquent ways, but I liked the directness: “When you're finally up on the moon, looking back at the earth, all these differences and nationalistic traits are pretty well going to blend and you're going to get a concept that maybe this is really one world and why the hell can't we learn to live together like decent people?” –Frank Borman, astronaut.

    Sign me up for that passport-free world!

  • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

    Thank you for your lovely words, Kari. You are such a beacon of support and love that I can feel in spite of all the hundreds of miles and borders that separate us.

    Much love,

    Sezin

  • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

    Dear Annie,

    I remember as a child looking out of airplane windows trying to see the lines. I would stare and stare, and when the captain would say “We've just crossed into ________,” I'd be frustrated thinking I had missed it. My mom had to explain that the lines on the maps weren't in real life, and like you, the idea was incomprehensible to me. If they aren't there in real life then why are they there at all?

    I love the idea of a passport-free world, open borders. Yes! And a global Mad Hatter's Tea Party sounds phenomenal. Maybe we need to find a virtual way to do that. You game?

    I am also very thankful to Twitter and Facebook for helping us find and connect with kindred spirits without the time or space that separates most of us.

    Thank you for being you, Annie, and thank you for commenting.

    Warmly,

    Sezin

  • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

    Thank you for commenting, Zeynep, and I am happy to read that I am not the only one who feels this way.

    I'm so happy you brought up the idea of this sense of self is a luxury and is a result of a priviliged life of sorts. It is definitely something I had planned to bring up in these comments and I am so happy that you beat me to it. Yes, indeed, we are the lucky ones who not only had the opportunity to experience the world, but also to be educated out in the global wild. I absolutely agree that we have a luxury even in having time to think about and write about these issues that those who are poor and uneducated will never be at liberty to do. Their concerns are survival, plain and simple.

    The links you provide are excellent and definitely speak to the theoretical issues I was aiming for in this piece. I have been watching the USA/Mexico border dispute for years, shaking my head and clucking in disgust. I read once that there are less border police on the USA/Canada border than there are in San Diego, and there are hundreds of American border cities to the south that have their own forces of police. In this case it's not just an arbitrary line on a map, it is also institutionalised racism and xenophobia.

    I also hope that this free-floating vision of the world will one day be global. And thank you for your good wishes for my future border crossing. Wishing you all the best, Zeynep. Thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/so_you_know Annie Syed

    Dear Sezin,

    I really appreciate you writing this. I couldn't have said it better. The concept of 'boundaries' is morbid to me. I can't register it. At all. Not in any way. I am not being funny. I don't get it. Like we drew lines on earth? hmmm. Like who sees them? Can we see these lines from above? Underground?

    Anyway, I feel grateful to twitter for having brought us in touch. See–no boundaries? Imagine if there were none on Earth too?! So many kindred madhatters could just have a teaparty without passports?!

    Thanks for writing this, lovely and I get and well, I don't have to explain it to those who don't. :)

    Cheerios….

    ~a.q.s.

  • http://twitter.com/Hanimeli kari m.

    Thank you for this post, Sezin. It sparked at lot in me. Your words evolve the world, I think (and hope). I second Zeynep`s words too because your vision is priceless.

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  • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

    Thank you for commenting, Kelly!

    I agree that it is hard to find a middle ground between being totally with and totally without boundaries. The trick is also to know *when* it is safe to let down the boundaries once they've started coming down, because it's not always so. And there will always be a risk of pain or disappointment, but if it means that the connections you make are real and wonderful, then the risk is worth it. I definitely think it is a good thing to experience being totally boundary-free, if even for a short while. The amazing soul connections that are possible astound me and you can be sure those will be friends for life.

    Keep at it, Kelly! And if you need some encouragement in lowering your boundaries or you have a bad experience in the meantime because of it, feel free to get in touch. We can share border-free battle wounds as well as all the soul victories. :-)

    All the best,

    Sezin

  • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

    That is a great question, dutchessabroad, and as a human being I have no definitive answer for when personality starts. Some of the children I care for at my international school already have extremely well-defined and strong personalities that I imagine will be with them for the long term. Other ones, not so much, and they look to the stronger personalities to mimic them.

    As an Astrologer, the theory is that personality starts from the moment we physically enter this universe and our little body is infused with the energies and alignments of all the planets in it. This is one way to explain why, for example, how the kids I mentioned at school manifest their personalities in different ways.

    I admire that you have found a way to be and live without borders even now. I sometimes wonder if this new boundary-setting phenomenon in my life is not just inspired by the Czech borders that now confine me, but also is a mirror of Czech culture which is notoriously (and truly) unfriendly and closed off. Or a combination of both maybe? While it doesn't necessarily feel comfortable or natural to me, I do see the benefit in sussing something out before throwing myself into it wholeheartedly. I think this is why I have such a rich online life: I have the opportunity to find out who people are from a distance and then decide how much or how little I would like to engage with them in my life.

    I will have to look up John C. Lily; I've never heard of him before.

    Thanks for this very philosophical comment, Judith!

  • http://twitter.com/TheCreativeUrge Kelly Hevel

    Dutchessabroad's question is a good one: when does personality start and of course the old nature/nurture debate. I feel like I am living in the land of low/no boundaries and I have always been a very private person even by my own culture's definition so it's a challenge for me. I try to see it as an opportunity for growth. I try to balance my needs with my desire to be a part of this culture and learn something in the process. I try not to automatically flee when my personal boundaries are crossed. Just as Sezin is learning to firm up her boundaries I am learning to loosen mine.

  • http://twitter.com/zeynepk Zeynep Kilic

    I very much sympathize with your free floating sense of self Sezin, as I am also someone who settled somewhere far far away from where she was born. On the other hand I think we must acknowledge that this is a luxury to have. For those of us who are educated and well connected, floating across borders seems easier, almost expected as part of a culturally enriched life. As academics, writers and thinkers we are almost expected to philosophically reject this arbitrary notion of separation. For those who are poor and uneducated, however, borders are iron clad and very deterring. Sure they try to defy them but many die trying or get separated from their loved ones for indefinite amounts of time (See Bosphorus Art Project’s Borders issue here: http://www.bapq.net/_oldsite/bapq/issue2/index.html . See the piece on militarization of borders by Sahee Kil here: http://www.bapq.net/_oldsite/bapq/issue2/globalization.html)

    I hope that your vision of the world will become a reality one day. And I hope you will cross another border soon where you feel more at peace with the place. Thanks for sharing…

  • dutchessabroad

    Growing up the way you did your attitude could have been/ become the opposite of what you describe Sezin, but your personality was suited for something else. You and your words make me think of the first large painting I created as an adult artist, which was inspired by the research and writing of John C. Lily
    It seems to me you kept the open-ess we all are born with for a long, long time.
    Growing up I lived for a few years where the borders of three provinces meet, I'm the child of an interfaith marriage, my father 19 years my mother's senior. My father's relatives were dead, my mother's alienated, it was just the three of us and our menagerie on a terp in the middle of nowhere, yet surrounded by barbed wire. Barbed wire was something I learned to push down and climb across at an early age. Borders? What borders?
    When does personality start?

  • http://bapq.net Zeynep Kilic

    I very much sympathize with your free floating sense of self Sezin, as I am also someone who settled somewhere far far away from where she was born. On the other hand I think we must acknowledge that this is a luxury to have. Those of us who are educated and well connected, floating across borders seems easier, almost expected as part of a culturally enriched life. As academics, writers and thinkers we are almost expected to philosophically reject this arbitrary notion of separation. For those who are poor and uneducated, however, borders are iron clad and very deterring. Sure they try to defy them but many die trying or get separated from their loved ones for indefinite amounts of time (See Bosphorus Art Project’s Borders issue here: http://www.bapq.net/_oldsite/bapq/issue2/index.html . See the piece on militarization of borders by Sahee Kil here: http://www.bapq.net/_oldsite/bapq/issue2/globalization.html)

    I hope that your vision of the world will become a reality one day. And I hope you will cross another border soon where you feel more at peace with the place. Thanks for sharing…

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