Running from the pack: avoiding homogeneity on the road

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in American culture,community,culture,identity,self-image

Looming cruise ship by CSBayar

By CATHERINE SALTER BAYAR

Here’s my idea of travel torture: Sabotaging a holiday by overpaying someone to impose an itinerary on me.

Visiting 45 countries, I’ve never gone with a tour group, never sailed on a cruise ship. Perhaps I’m allergic to pack mentality because I was born in a tourist town, and have lived in places on touristy top-ten lists my whole life. I dislike being stuck in the company of people “from home” for the same reason I’m uncomfortable in the suburbs: the homogeneity stifles me.

Now on a warm Sunday afternoon, my neighborhood in Istanbul’s old peninsula offers two group extremes. In the convoluted lanes outside Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar, I observe the crowds of local bargain-hunting families. The hawkers are expressive, the mood festive. It’s a day to relax, enjoy each other’s company, and eat a meal together away from home.

In nearby Sultanahmet the mood is frantic. Crowds of sight-seeing tourists are prodded along by their assertive guides. There’s much to see and so little time!

The point of travel is to encounter new cultures, see the world from a different perspective, feel the discomfort of being the only one like you around.

The sameness I avoid in travel also became tiresome when living outside my birth culture, in a small town with restrictive family ties.

Unlike those Grand Bazaar shoppers, my husband and I are black sheep. We prefer the anonymity that huge cities provide, the independence to stand out or blend in as we choose. We’re happiest in a crossroads of cultures, with the Babel of languages in our ears.

How does your travel philosophy reflect your other life choices?
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California native Catherine Salter Bayar creates knitwear, seeks textile treasure, and has left her house on Ayasuluk Hill for a room in Istanbul’s Sultanahmet. She writes about it all in her upcoming book, Weaving Our Way Home.
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Tagged as: Babel, black sheep, Catherine Salter Bayar, crossroads, cruise, cruise ship, diversity, expat+HAREM series, Grand Bazaar, group travel, homogeneity, homogeneous, independent travel, Istanbul, pack mentality, Santa Barbara, Sultanahmet, the point of travel, the purpose of travel, tour group, tour guide, tourism, tourist, travel philosophy, travel style

  • dutchessabroad

    Loner, trail blazer, happy to submerge in local culture. Abroad I tend to keep my mouth shut when I detect speakers of my native language, yet crave to converse in my mother tongue. Your post speaks to me Catherine. People like us are all anthropologists from Mars, taking in and processing the world around us as something new to savor and process.

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  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Thanks Vickie – I've heard those same questions quite a few times myself. As much as I'd like to change the minds of skeptics, I've realized I probably can't. Better to move on and find others we do connect with, those who do understand that for me, life is about experience and knowledge. Glad to know you enjoyed the book!

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    I'm always happy to see families with kids of all ages traveling solo here. It takes a special sort of adventuresome parents to travel around a foreign country with babies and toddlers in tow, since it can't be easy. But what an education to give your children. As much as I disliked fighting for backseat space with my brothers, our family road trips across the US are still vivid in my mind.

    Would love to see a post from you here Rose, about raising the next generation of travelers with dual nationalities, and looking forward to the day when they too can start chiming in with their views. Thanks!

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    I like your website, Audrey, and will be back to read more. Interesting your comment that being a diplomat's kid felt like being in a bubble/fishbowl, which is not what I would have imagined, and exactly how I think of tourists behind the windows of those big coaches.

    “Pushing our comfort zone” – isn't that the only way to create the lives we're here to live? Amazing to me that most people do not think that way. Building your own life is scary, but blindly following the herd is soul-killing.

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Very true, Sezin – our D2010 sisters are definitely a pack I'd run with anywhere. Being in a group that understands me makes all the difference, and I definitely don't find that easily among the general traveling (or stationary) public.

    I agree about dreading being asked where you're from. Visitors to our shop here often flat out say “You're not Turkish”. A challenge, not a polite question. These days, I just smile and say “I'm a hybrid” without saying anything further (unless they prove they can converse nicely) That phrase confuses people, so I like it!

    I understand your travel weariness, after too many years of living out of a suitcase myself. I'm happy to sit in Sultanahmet and let the world come to me for a good long time, inshallah.

    My ever-morphing book is simmering on a back burner, while I focus on starting craft workshops here in September. Imagine me finishing it this winter, while gazing out the window at a snow-covered Hagia Sophia…

  • Vickie

    Catherine, I wish I could tell you how many times I've been asked in the last 5 years…….”Why do you go to Turkey ?”, or “Aren't you afraid to go there alone ?” It is amazing how many people can miss such culture, history, and life experiences with this frame of mind. A couple of years ago, I was given the book as a Christmas present, and found it so entertaining, not to mention learning a bit more than my own experiences in Turkey with travel. I had learned alot from friends, but the extra insight was a delightful topping.

  • rosedeniz

    Recent travel of mine has been all about going home, visiting family, returning to familiar places. Except for a few solo excursions, which like Yazarc mentioned, it's all been to “do” something. Combined with toting toddlers across the world, I've felt the urge to run from my own pack, not to mention other tourists! But I wonder it that is for another post entirely….

    Great food for thought, Catherine. My personal travel philosophy hasn't changed much, but has had to be fine-tuned a lot to make our little family work. I expect it will continue to change as I do and as my kids grow up and I'm less tethered to caring for basic needs.

  • http://UncorneredMarket.com Audrey

    I love the freedom of anonymity one has as an independent traveler. This also stems from the fact that I grew up as a diplomat's kid and lived in a sort of bubble and fishbowl. As an adult, my husband and I have made choices to not repeat that again. We moved to Prague in 2001 without jobs and built a life on our own there instead of under the sponsorship of a company. Most recently, we've decided to travel around the world on our own. Sure, we've had to take tours when it's necessary (e..g, Antarctica, trekking, etc.), but many of our best experiences come from meeting people as we walk through markets and or on buses or wherever. They are experiences we've created for ourselves and they come from pushing our comfort zone and being comfortable at being different instead of a tour leader telling us what we “should” experience from a place. And, there's the freedom to move on or stay if we want.

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  • http://www.Sezin.org/ Sezin

    I love this, Catherine, and I absolutely relate. Though one pack I would *be happy* to run with would be other women who run with the wolves, but I suppose in many ways the Dialogue 2010 sisterhood has set the foundation for that kind of pack mentality. ;-)

    Another thing I find frustrating about the kinds of tours you describe is having to make small talk with the other tour members. I already have a deep aversion to people asking me where I am from, and tours are the “ideal” place to get asked that question a dozen times over. These days, if I actually go anywhere at all, my favourite thing to do is find a cafe with a bit of charm and sit there people watching. I could do that all day.

    As far as how my travel philosophy reflects my other life choices…growing up a Third Culture Kid has ingrained travel deeply into my personality and psyche. However, in the last few years I have become almost obtusely resistant to traveling at all. I don't find it relaxing, airplanes give me panic attacks and strange food gives me hives. Everything in me says to stay still, and so for the moment here I remain in freezing cold Prague, because I simply cannot be bothered to move. After a lifetime of moving hither and thither, my prayer is that the next move we make will be the last move of my life. That would make me indescribably happy.

    I can't wait to read your book! When does it come out?

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Thanks, Writer Abroad! If I could somehow eradicate fear as a barrier to travel, especially among Americans, I would. That's one big reason I write about living in Turkey. Be sure to let us know when you're in Istanbul, and don't forget to check out all the great ideas Anastasia and others have posted above!

  • http://www.writerabroad.com Writer Abroad

    Great post. I completely agree. I like to travel independently for the reasons you have listed. It's too bad that so many people are either too scared or too lazy to discover cultures on their own. I'm looking forward to visiting Turkey for the first time this fall and I will not be joining any tours except my own!

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Very true about the motivation for travel varying for each of us, YazarC – they do reflect our priorities in life. Many of my trips to new countries were for my design work, which naturally had me focusing not just on the task at hand but how the people I was working with lived. If I liked working in a place, I made a point to come back on a holiday if I could to see more of the culture. Which is exactly how I ended up in Turkey today!

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Thanks for your comment, Bikebloke! Meeting people along the way is the best part of travel, and they always seem to cross your path for a reason. Even here in Sultanahmet where I'm the stationary one, it seems someone is teaching me something new daily. In fact, an English gentleman who lives in Afghanistan just came in to say that a ceramic plate we have in our shop window is a coveted antique from the 1880's; our partners had no idea of its worth.

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Okay, I could be convinced to take this type of tour – in fact, I've already emailed and received info this morning about Anissa's Syrian tour. ;-D She would be an amazing guide because she lives her passion. Entirely different than the bored guides repeating rote phrases herding groups through the Hagia Sophia.

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    I agree with you, Sher – maybe I just have a bad sense of direction, but some of my favorite discoveries happen in places where I've gotten lost. I hate pulling out a map in public (okay, I know I look like a tourist, but I don't like to confirm it) so meandering down back streets has become one of my favorite things to do. Like Prague, Istanbul has endless areas to get lost in!

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Great point, Inese – attempting Kilimanjaro and other such mountain ascents would be suicidal without a group! And yes, supporting the local economies is important. Having someone else carry your belongings may have been frustrating at first, but ultimately a relief? I've read though that many mountain trekking groups leave lots of rubbish behind (I know your group didn't!) so I wonder what the effect of that type of tourism has on the environment?

    I love solo travel as well because it does bring me out of my comfort zone, plus I can follow my own inner muse about where to go and what to see.

  • http://www.skaiangates.com Yazarc

    I guess the difference is the 'point of travel' differs for everyone. If Syrian cuisine is the point then Anastasia's tour would be a big help; if visiting the major sites in as short a time as possible is the point then a bus tour is it; if visiting religious sites is the point then a tour may be necessary. I'm thinking here of the huge amount of travelling my grandparents did, purely through pilgrimages – the Holy Land, Portugal, France, Yugoslavia (as it was at the time). They may not have learned a huge amount about the local culture but they achieved their point, which was to visit shrines and bind with their parish community on the tour.
    Looking back, I have very rarely traveled just to see the culture, my travelling has been to ski, to work, to visit specific industrial points, to visit relatives. I would love to travel just for culture but haven't had a chance (yet!). That doesn't mean I didn't learn about the culture on the way, simply that it wasn't the main point of the visit.

  • http://veloroo.blogspot.com Bikebloke

    I've always traveled solo. Yet I always meet people along the way. Locals and fellow travellers. After visiting the main sights at a destination, I like to go walkabout and see where it takes me. I can't stand the herd, though I've reluctantly joined groups when constrained by time limits.

  • Inese

    Getting lost in a new city is one of the joys of travel. Going in circles until it becomes familiar. Crossing the same river three times wondering how did that happen?

  • http://www.expatharem.com/identity-messages/ Anastasia

    Thanks for this Catherine! Mass travel doesn't appeal to me either, although I can't say I've avoided it entirely over the years and in ~30 countries. Sometimes you just want to go somewhere and you don't want to figure anything out. You get what you put into it, pretty much.

    However, since it's all about curation (and #s) I'd happily sign on to a well-designed tour. In fact, checking out the November itinerary of chef Anissa Helou's Syrian culinary tour just announced today…I like to see the world through the eyes of people who specialize in its particular corners.

  • http://sheroffthebeatenpath.blogspot.com Sher

    Hi Catherine,
    I could so relate to your post! The last few places I've lived were tourist destinations: an island in the Gulf of Mexico, a ski resort and now Prague. Each of these places has been one tourists flock to. Somehow I managed to stay out of the “pack” and to live a normal life in these beautiful places. It can be done!

    My husband and I are like you and your husband–we choose to wander on our own, not with a tourist group. Those groups are great for people who are first-time travelers or maybe they have difficulty being on their own for whatever reasons. But for us, we love to explore a city in our own way. We often get lost, but that's part of the fun of seeing a new place. We always manage to have a great time and to find places the tour groups miss, but that are just as poignant and beautiful as those high-traffic sites. Even bits of history can be found on some very narrow, dusty back streets! You just never know!

    This was a great post! Thanks so much for sharing your views and experiences!

  • http://inesedesign.com Inese

    I have done both in a way. I prefer to travel on my own or with 1 or 2 good friends, but when I wanted to go on a 10 day hike in the Altai mountains in Mongolia I signed up for a group, 3 hikers, plus the Mongolian cook, guide, camel herder. Kilimanjaro required by law a support crew, ours was 21 Africans for 4 hikers all of whom were used to carrying their own packs, food, tents etc. Here we realized that our dollars are an important part of the local economy, and they are “working” it to the max. However in New Zealand I was completely comfortable doing 4 day tramps with my backpack and tent solo.

    I actually love going solo, because I am constantly approached by locals and travelers, and have met the most interesting people that way. As soon as you have a traveling partner you lose that openness and are less approachable.

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