The rebel you haven’t met: jumping your own rut

38 comments

in identity,self-image

iStockphoto: Erik Reis

By GIULIETTA NARDONE

I have a rebellious nature. I even make a living out of it — teaching people to rediscover their inner boldness.

When I travel, I choose to ignore the American tendency to hammer out every last travel detail before leaving home. Why go if there’s no room for adventure? My husband Jimmy and I find it thrilling to arrive somewhere we’ve never been, and find our standard cheap place to stay. No reservations.

During a trip to Hungary we drove into Budapest in the middle of Friday night rush hour. The endless crush of traffic surprised us. We had envisioned a large village, not a small Paris. We traversed the city (without a guidebook, of course!) for four hours. Desperate, tired and cranky, we ended up at the only hotel with an opening: the luxurious Forum on the Danube. For a “discounted” $275/night.

Jimmy and I gasped at the rate. Then, we gasped at our room with a view. We could practically touch the illuminated Chain Bridge from our window. After taking hot showers in a marble bathroom, we donned luxe robes and nibbled on complimentary goodies. Later, the concierge sent us to an exquisite but pricey restaurant.

I asked Jimmy, “How come we’ve never splurged on ourselves before?”

I had created my own status quo rut. A true rebel needs to rebel even against herself.

Since that trip twelve years ago, Jimmy and I no longer choose our accommodations based solely on price or last-minute availability. Sometimes we reserve a crumbling old villa with strange plumbing and creaky mattresses, or spring for a historic 5-star hotel. It depends which status quo rut we’re jumping.

How has being enslaved to a certain kind of rebellion restricted your life choices?

+++++
Giulietta Nardone, inspirational rebel, life awakener, and essayist, blogs about taking back your power, your self and your life at Giulietta the Muse.
+++++

Related posts:

  1. Running from the pack: avoiding homogeneity on the road
  2. Out of the box: the lure of the wider world
  3. I dream of GenY: in sync with today’s 20-something worldview
  4. Reading travelers: find your historical context

Tagged as: adventure, adventurous, American, be conservative, bold, boldness, Budapest, budget accomodation, Chain Bridge, Danube, Giulietta Nardone, Giulietta the Muse, guidebook, Hungary, inspirational rebel, itinerary, life awakener, lodging, luxury, play it safe, pre-planning, rebel, rebellion, rebellious, reservation, status quo, travel, travel style, unguided

  • http://www.CereusWomen.com Kim Reddington

    Reading this post was refreshing to me. I was raised the way you mention, that every last minute of a vacation must be planned in advance in order to get the most out of your money. My husband was raised to just relax on vacation. We have been raising our kids somewhere in the middle. To me planning a vacation is so much work. I feel there is so much to be researched before heading somewhere new. I wonder what it would be like to just go somewhere and see what lies ahead with no planning whatsoever. I have NEVER done that. I guess my life is much too structured. Thank you for making me aware of this. Maybe I just need to learn how to go with the flow. Is life more rewarding that way?

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta Nardone

      Hi Kim,

      Thanks for stopping by! I’m a big advocate of going with the flow. Allows for more adventure. Some of my greatest vacation moments happened because the only structure of the trip was to let go and go with wherever the let took me! Maybe just rent a car next time and go …

      See you,

      G.
      .-= Giulietta Nardone’s latest blog ..Do you hide out from living your one and only life? =-.

  • http://www.CereusWomen.com Kim Reddington

    Reading this post was refreshing to me. I was raised the way you mention, that every last minute of a vacation must be planned in advance in order to get the most out of your money. My husband was raised to just relax on vacation. We have been raising our kids somewhere in the middle. To me planning a vacation is so much work. I feel there is so much to be researched before heading somewhere new. I wonder what it would be like to just go somewhere and see what lies ahead with no planning whatsoever. I have NEVER done that. I guess my life is much too structured. Thank you for making me aware of this. Maybe I just need to learn how to go with the flow. Is life more rewarding that way?

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta Nardone

      Hi Kim,

      Thanks for stopping by! I’m a big advocate of going with the flow. Allows for more adventure. Some of my greatest vacation moments happened because the only structure of the trip was to let go and go with wherever the let took me! Maybe just rent a car next time and go …

      See you,

      G.
      .-= Giulietta Nardone’s latest blog ..Do you hide out from living your one and only life? =-.

  • kari m.

    Hi Giulietta,

    This post spoke to me. :-) My English is not perfect but I`d like to leave a comment anyhow. I agree with you; let’s take the ‘no more corners pledge’

    The world certainly loves to force us into corners — it has taken me a long time to appreciate this. Wish I had understood at an earlier age what I now know… But then again, that`s what any journey is all about, no?

    Then again I would wholeheartedly wish less agony for anyone (myself included) who are likely to spend a lot of energy doing shadow boxing.

    The ‘outside world’ might wish adaptable people to fit into their own standards of things in order to feel more comfortable relating — so here`s for standing our grounds while moving forward!

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Kari,

      Yes, let’s stand our ground and move forward! I like that. As we move along this journey, whatever it is, we learn what works and doesn’t work for us. The whole point of it may be to stand our ground … enjoy and much thanks for leaving a comment! G.
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • kari m.

    Hi Giulietta,

    This post spoke to me. :-) My English is not perfect but I`d like to leave a comment anyhow. I agree with you; let’s take the ‘no more corners pledge’

    The world certainly loves to force us into corners — it has taken me a long time to appreciate this. Wish I had understood at an earlier age what I now know… But then again, that`s what any journey is all about, no?

    Then again I would wholeheartedly wish less agony for anyone (myself included) who are likely to spend a lot of energy doing shadow boxing.

    The ‘outside world’ might wish adaptable people to fit into their own standards of things in order to feel more comfortable relating — so here`s for standing our grounds while moving forward!

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Kari,

      Yes, let’s stand our ground and move forward! I like that. As we move along this journey, whatever it is, we learn what works and doesn’t work for us. The whole point of it may be to stand our ground … enjoy and much thanks for leaving a comment! G.
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.isaokato.com/ Isao

    Nice…my rebellion against my parents, especially my father, restricted my job choice for a while. I resisted his advice on employed in the technology sector and tried to “break out” of it, ignoring my inner tendencies. Now that I listen more to what I truly want, and I found myself still employed in the technology sector and just shrug my shoulder…I am following similar steps as my father, but so what? Might be a coincidence, who knows ;)

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Isao,

      Thank you for stopping by. Glad you are listening more to what you want — that’s the key right there — to filter out what others want for us. Can be hard with all the advice we get. Maybe you are where you want to be. Do you love it? Thx. G
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.isaokato.com/ Isao

    Nice…my rebellion against my parents, especially my father, restricted my job choice for a while. I resisted his advice on employed in the technology sector and tried to “break out” of it, ignoring my inner tendencies. Now that I listen more to what I truly want, and I found myself still employed in the technology sector and just shrug my shoulder…I am following similar steps as my father, but so what? Might be a coincidence, who knows ;)

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Isao,

      Thank you for stopping by. Glad you are listening more to what you want — that’s the key right there — to filter out what others want for us. Can be hard with all the advice we get. Maybe you are where you want to be. Do you love it? Thx. G
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.etsy.com Catherine Bayar

    Giulietta, love this post (and think I too once ended up by accident in that same Budapest hotel…though that same trip I did get talked into staying in a pension that used to be a prison. But that’s another story!)

    With a great love of travel and a modest budget when not for business, I’ve rebelled from the backpacking “got to be uncomfortable to be authentic” mentality. Maybe being enslaved to a absolute need for hot showers has limited some of my spontaneity. I like that you’ve included a favorite site “Urbane Nomads” in this post – that’s a clever term I really relate to.

    I’d also echo Rose and Anastasia’s answers. As a clothing designer, I’ve been expected to dress outlandishly, or to at least frequently change my look to reflect cutting edge fashion. I’ve rebelled from that industry obsession by not being much concerned with my appearance…I’m far more compelled to focus on what I make. That rebellion undoubtedly limited my success within that world. But not fitting in frees me to create on my own terms, paying attention to trends when it suits me.
    .-= Catherine Bayar’s latest blog ..Uzbek Embroidery Lace Knit Cap =-.

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Catherine,

      Would love to hear your pension/ex-prison story! Sounds like an adventure. I totally relate to not fitting in at work by not wearing the prescribed costumes. If we aren’t comfortable with our clothes, how can we create? I could never wear a suit at my gov. and corporate gigs. Felt alien. It got me in trouble, believe it or not. Appreciate you stopping by! Giulietta
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.bazaarbayar.blogspot.com Catherine Bayar

    Giulietta, love this post (and think I too once ended up by accident in that same Budapest hotel…though that same trip I did get talked into staying in a pension that used to be a prison. But that’s another story!)

    With a great love of travel and a modest budget when not for business, I’ve rebelled from the backpacking “got to be uncomfortable to be authentic” mentality. Maybe being enslaved to a absolute need for hot showers has limited some of my spontaneity. I like that you’ve included a favorite site “Urbane Nomads” in this post – that’s a clever term I really relate to.

    I’d also echo Rose and Anastasia’s answers. As a clothing designer, I’ve been expected to dress outlandishly, or to at least frequently change my look to reflect cutting edge fashion. I’ve rebelled from that industry obsession by not being much concerned with my appearance…I’m far more compelled to focus on what I make. That rebellion undoubtedly limited my success within that world. But not fitting in frees me to create on my own terms, paying attention to trends when it suits me.
    .-= Catherine Bayar’s latest blog ..Uzbek Embroidery Lace Knit Cap =-.

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Catherine,

      Would love to hear your pension/ex-prison story! Sounds like an adventure. I totally relate to not fitting in at work by not wearing the prescribed costumes. If we aren’t comfortable with our clothes, how can we create? I could never wear a suit at my gov. and corporate gigs. Felt alien. It got me in trouble, believe it or not. Appreciate you stopping by! Giulietta
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.wondermentwoman.com Elmira

    This is such a great post. It’s a great reminder that everything in life needs to be scripted. Where has experience gone? Reminds me of Mark Twain’s, “(y)ou’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do…”so throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
    .-= Elmira’s latest blog ..Hard as you try, you still can’t go no where =-.

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Elmira,

      That M. Twain quote is one of my all time favorites! You bring up such an important point about life and experience. Yes, let’s sail away from the safe harbor and experience our one and only lives. So many of us live the exact same lives, down to our kitchen designs! I actually want to turn my kitchen into a 1950′s style deli. We’ve got lots of pinball machines. Why can’t a kitchen be fun? I appreciate you stopping by. Will check out your blog post. Title intrigues!

      Giulietta
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.wondermentwoman.com Elmira

    This is such a great post. It’s a great reminder that everything in life needs to be scripted. Where has experience gone? Reminds me of Mark Twain’s, “(y)ou’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do…”so throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
    .-= Elmira’s latest blog ..Hard as you try, you still can’t go no where =-.

    • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

      Hi Elmira,

      That M. Twain quote is one of my all time favorites! You bring up such an important point about life and experience. Yes, let’s sail away from the safe harbor and experience our one and only lives. So many of us live the exact same lives, down to our kitchen designs! I actually want to turn my kitchen into a 1950′s style deli. We’ve got lots of pinball machines. Why can’t a kitchen be fun? I appreciate you stopping by. Will check out your blog post. Title intrigues!

      Giulietta
      .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

    Jenna,
    So true. It’s like we need to do a daily “am I in a rut?” check. Thanks!

    Rose,
    Just read your great Ex-pat post on hybrid domesticities. Yes, even more rebellious folks like artists can get caught up in their own cliches, like you have to be around other artists or look a certain way. Or what your teacher believed, “You can be an artist or a mother, but you can’t be both.” The rebel rebelling in me says, “Why not?” The world loves to force us into corners that can become hard to get out of.
    Let’s take the “no more corners pledge.” Appreciate your nice note!

    Giulietta
    .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..What’s Your Burning Question? =-.

    • Anastasia

      Thanks for this post Giulietta!

      As for getting caught up in your own cliche, especially how we must look — I often faced this phenomenon when visiting San Francisco and other wild and wooly places. I’d meet people who let me know immediately how square they found me. Their tongue piercing and tattoos were a rebellion for them…they were from Ohio. For a person like me coming from anti-establishment Berkeley, to be at all ‘conventional’ in my appearance was a rebellion in itself. It didn’t mean my thinking was conventional, or my soul was conventional.

      As for how rebellion has restricted my life choices, the disconnect between my inner substance and lifestyle/appearances is one example.

      • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

        Anastasia,

        Now that’s a brilliant thought. Every person experiences rebellion in a different way. What appears to be conformity might actually be rebellion and what appears to be rebellion might actually be conformity. Makes me think of the old adage: don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Yet so many of us do. Am enjoying the dialogue here! Thanks. G.
        .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

    Jenna,
    So true. It’s like we need to do a daily “am I in a rut?” check. Thanks!

    Rose,
    Just read your great Ex-pat post on hybrid domesticities. Yes, even more rebellious folks like artists can get caught up in their own cliches, like you have to be around other artists or look a certain way. Or what your teacher believed, “You can be an artist or a mother, but you can’t be both.” The rebel rebelling in me says, “Why not?” The world loves to force us into corners that can become hard to get out of.
    Let’s take the “no more corners pledge.” Appreciate your nice note!

    Giulietta
    .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..What’s Your Burning Question? =-.

    • http://www.expatharem.com/identity-messages/ Anastasia

      Thanks for this post Giulietta!

      As for getting caught up in your own cliche, especially how we must look — I often faced this phenomenon when visiting San Francisco and other wild and wooly places. I’d meet people who let me know immediately how square they found me. Their tongue piercing and tattoos were a rebellion for them…they were from Ohio. For a person like me coming from anti-establishment Berkeley, to be at all ‘conventional’ in my appearance was a rebellion in itself. It didn’t mean my thinking was conventional, or my soul was conventional.

      As for how rebellion has restricted my life choices, the disconnect between my inner substance and lifestyle/appearances is one example.

      • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

        Anastasia,

        Now that’s a brilliant thought. Every person experiences rebellion in a different way. What appears to be conformity might actually be rebellion and what appears to be rebellion might actually be conformity. Makes me think of the old adage: don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Yet so many of us do. Am enjoying the dialogue here! Thanks. G.
        .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..The Rebel You Haven’t Met =-.

  • http://www.rosedeniz.blogspot.com rosedeniz

    Giulietta, I can definitely relate to what you’re saying about rebellion restricting life choices. As an artist, it seems part of the package is to rebel – especially against mainstream preoccupations; if you’re going to do it right, you should be dodging convention (which as a result lands you in the stereotype of the rebellious artist, also a convention). I confronted this recently when I realized in order to be a creative person, I had to step out of art world expectations, and I talk about it here on expat+HAREM in Hybrid Domesticities. I realized I can be curious, productive, and communicative without pushing myself to extremes. This also opened me up to seeing connections between art, writing, and motherhood, prompting a lot of growth. Thanks so much for this post!

  • Anonymous

    Giulietta, I can definitely relate to what you’re saying about rebellion restricting life choices. As an artist, it seems part of the package is to rebel – especially against mainstream preoccupations; if you’re going to do it right, you should be dodging convention (which as a result lands you in the stereotype of the rebellious artist, also a convention). I confronted this recently when I realized in order to be a creative person, I had to step out of art world expectations, and I talk about it here on expat+HAREM in Hybrid Domesticities. I realized I can be curious, productive, and communicative without pushing myself to extremes. This also opened me up to seeing connections between art, writing, and motherhood, prompting a lot of growth. Thanks so much for this post!

  • http://www.highlysensitivesouls.com Jenna Avery

    Giulietta, What a great wake up call. I love the reminder not to get stuck in ANY rut. Thank you!

  • http://www.highlysensitivesouls.com Jenna Avery

    Giulietta, What a great wake up call. I love the reminder not to get stuck in ANY rut. Thank you!

  • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

    Lori,

    I couldn’t ask for a better comment fairy in training! How fun you are to take on that challenge. Much thanks!

    Giulietta

  • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

    Lori,

    I couldn’t ask for a better comment fairy in training! How fun you are to take on that challenge. Much thanks!

    Giulietta

  • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

    Hi Jennifer,

    Yes, let’s “let go of convention” and custom-design our lives! Will check out your blog, too. Thanks for the generous comment …

    Giulietta
    .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..What’s Your Burning Question? =-.

  • http://www.giuliettathemuse.com/blog Giulietta

    Hi Jennifer,

    Yes, let’s “let go of convention” and custom-design our lives! Will check out your blog, too. Thanks for the generous comment …

    Giulietta
    .-= Giulietta’s latest blog ..What’s Your Burning Question? =-.

  • Lori Paquette

    “I had created my own status quo rut. A true rebel needs to rebel even against herself.”

    Thanks for the reminder, Giulietta! You are an inspiration and heck of a lot of fun. Great post.

    Lori, comment fairy in training

  • Lori Paquette

    “I had created my own status quo rut. A true rebel needs to rebel even against herself.”

    Thanks for the reminder, Giulietta! You are an inspiration and heck of a lot of fun. Great post.

    Lori, comment fairy in training

  • http://www.dividingmytime.typepad.com Jennifer Eremeeva

    Giulietta, this was a great post! You so adroitly capture one of the great joys in breaking out of a conventional lifestyle. Letting go of the way you “think things should be” is so important, and I think it is a maxim for many, if not all, of the aspects of our lives. I’m forwarding this to a number of friends, and I think they will really take value from it. Thank you!!
    .-= Jennifer Eremeeva’s latest blog ..Day of the Russian Entrepreneur /День российского предпринимательства: An Oxymoron or what? =-.

  • http://www.dividingmytime.typepad.com Jennifer Eremeeva

    Giulietta, this was a great post! You so adroitly capture one of the great joys in breaking out of a conventional lifestyle. Letting go of the way you “think things should be” is so important, and I think it is a maxim for many, if not all, of the aspects of our lives. I’m forwarding this to a number of friends, and I think they will really take value from it. Thank you!!
    .-= Jennifer Eremeeva’s latest blog ..Day of the Russian Entrepreneur /День российского предпринимательства: An Oxymoron or what? =-.

Previous post:

Next post: